Washington University in St. Louis student Vanessa Clifton may have sighed in relief a little too early.

On January 3, while home on break in New York, Ms. Clifton sparked an impromptu conversation with a "young, dashing man," Ted V. Rexmore, while waiting in line at the Starbucks inside a Target Greatland superstore. The topics of discussion included television shows Dexter and Grey's Anatomy, the "super-scary monster" in Cloverfield, and the recent outbreak of chlamydia in Rexmore's apartment building.

But the conversation soon took a turn for the worse.

Rexmore mentioned he was attending Baruch College, located in New York City, and inquired about Ms. Clifton's educational what-have-yous. She replied, telling Mr. Rexmore that she was enrolled at Washington University.

"Oh, I know where that is," said Mr. Rexmore, in what may have been a desperate attempt to "seal the deal." In a private interview conducted by telephone, Mr. Rexmore admitted he was "digging her [Ms. Clifton's] vibes all the way to the bank," and that he was planning on "sucking a fart out of [Ms. Clifton's] ass and holding it like a bong hit." The bubbling noises that followed may indicate that Mr. Rexmore actually took a bong hit shortly thereafter.

In response to Mr. Rexmore's confident display of WashU's location, Ms. Clifton signed with relief. She later told The Review how she was extremely elated that she did not have to explain that Washington University is in St. Louis, and that most people have no idea where it is. She also added that it was "very difficult to mention where the school is without addding that it is consistently in U.S. News & World Report's top fifteen universities."

"Yeah, I've never been to Seattle or anything, but that's really cool," replied Mr. Rexmore.

That was the end for Ms. Clifton.

"I just wasted a sigh on you," she said to Mr. Rexmore, later adding, "Fuck off."