LOS ANGELES, CA--Semi-popular comedian and film actor Adam Sandler announced today that he is not J.P. Losman, a mediocre Buffalo Bills quarterback 15 years his junior.

"Despite what the broadcasters and bloggers are always saying, I am not J.P. Losman," Sandler noted at a recent press conference. "Still, I hold no grudge against him, and wish him no particular harm."

Losman's handlers agreed with the sentiments expressed by Sandler in a statement released subsequently:

"Just as Mr. Sandler is not J.P., J.P. is not Mr. Sandler. However, he is honored by the comparisons made. He feels Mr. Sandler is a very humorous and talented entertainer, and that he really expanded his repertoire--and taught America several life lessons--in the feel-good family comedy Click."

Speculation that the two individuals are the same person stems mostly from the fact that they look fairly similar. However, experienced observers of celebrities and athletes can tell the two apart by three key characteristics.

"First of all, J.P.'s eyes are more widely set, by about 3 centimeters," said grizzled look-alike watcher Red Ormond. "His nose veers to the left, whereas Sandler's goes to the right. And lastly, Sandler doesn't have that moxie that you see with J.P. He looks more like a goof."

Sandler concluded his press conference by repeating a well-known movie line, "the price is wrong, bitch," after being cajoled to do so by reporters and fans.